How To Help Him Cure His Fear Of Physical Intimacy

Published: 28th January 2011
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Men have their weak sides that they try not to show. Men are afraid to let down their guard and show people who they really are. Since prehistoric times, men have been putting lots of effort in maintaining their macho image which leads some men into having a fear of physical intimacy. In trade for physical intimacy, women demand emotional intimacy, and emotional intimacy is too revealing for many men. This kind of fear of intimacy in men is unexpected, because intimacy's definition for a man is typically physical intimacy, but the fear of vulnerability can be strong.

For most women, physical intimacy cannot bear to exist without emotional intimacy. The feeling of belongingness is important for women because they believe that the secret to a lasting, meaningful relationship is being able to talk openly about their feelings, dreams, frustrations, and a lot more, to the other party. Men find themselves afraid to get intimate with their "prospects," because they are aware that they will have to talk about their feelings and to be vulnerable. As John Gray, author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" puts it, "when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer."

Heartbreaks are really painful, and men's heartbreaks are no exception to this occurrence. In the past, they might have been cheated or hurt so as a result, they put up barriers which prevent them from loving or being loved. Once a man already knows the pain that comes with broken relationships, he can have difficulty trusting and being intimate with another person again.

One more reason why men develop a fear of physical intimacy is the possibility that when they enter a committed relationship, their freedom will be hampered. No matter how mature men are, they still want to do some things on their own such as watching adrenalin-punched football games with their friends. Since some women tend to be so clingy and needy, men shy away from being near to the opposite sex for fear of restriction.

However, men's fear of physical intimacy is not a permanent state. There are numerous ways to dismantle their barriers. If he's reeling from a broken heart, show that you are a different person. Don't be impatient though because he might avoid you for looking like a desperate freak. Pressuring him to forget his fear and disappointment will only remind him of the stereotypes he has built up. While waiting, don't forget to do things that will make him feel special.

If a man fears that you will invade his personal space, let him know that you're quite able to take care of yourself. Men are attracted to women who are confident, so let him see that you can be emotionally independent. This way, he will see that you won't bug him if you're crying over a touching episode of your favorite drama special.

The best treatment to stop his fear of physical intimacy from haunting him is to remove it a little at a time. Find ways to entice him to show you his vulnerability. In the end, he will be thankful for someone like you who did not easily give up.


To learn more about intimacy issues men have, visit the site . Learn as well about other aspects of men's fear of commitment phobia.

Thomas Christopher is a Colorado public speaker and trainer.

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